Most of my friends probably know that I have an affinity for cheesy music. Specifically, I have an affinity for cheesy music of the hair band variety. And I especially love Journey. Anytime, anyplace, I am all about some Journey. So naturally, when I found out that Journey Unauthorized ("The Most Authentic Recreation of the 1980's Journey You'll Ever See or Hear") was coming to one of the local casinos, I immediately purchased tickets for Josh and I to attend. [He didn't really get a say in the matter. But whether he'll admit it or not, I don't think he minded at all.]

Given that this concert was A) at the casino, B) only $10 per person, and C) promoted with this incredibly goofy band photo pasted on bus stop benches all over Tucson, I figured it was probably going to be a pretty amazing experience. The way I saw things, it was either going to be pretty damn good, or pretty damn terrible. Either way, it was probably going to be a lot of fun. Just for reference, here is a photo of the actual band Journey:
Dead ringers, huh?
Josh and I decided to make a night of this event, so we arrived to the casino early to partake in the $7 all-you-can-eat buffet. It turned out to be worth way less than that. Yuck. Then we spent a while losing money at both slots and Blackjack. I, of course, only lost five dollars because that's all I was willing to spend in the first place. Those 2
¢ slot machines are a total rip-off, let me tell you.
The concert itself did not disappoint. It was so bad it was great. From the moment the band walked on stage, it was painfully obvious that they were all wearing wigs, and none of them (despite their national tour in which they presumably wear these wigs every night) seemed to know exactly what to do with their long hair. The lead singer awkwardly swung his entire upper body from side to side in an attempt to throw his hair over his shoulder, and was constantly tugging at the back of the wig to keep it in position. The guitarist's mop of long curls seemed to get soggier and heavier with sweat as the night went on. The bassist rocked a pretty awful fake mustache which
almost matched the color of his wig. The keyboardist looked like he was wearing a hairpiece created for a Lego person. Of the entire band, the drummer was the one who looked the most natural in his 80's hair and costume... and of course, he was the one person you could see the least of. Go figure.
In the audience, there were some families, lots of couples, quite a few retirement-age groups, and a decent amount of heavily made-up, tight-clothed, intoxicated, middle-aged women. Great people-watching. There was a young kid sitting next to me who knew every word to every song, and was seriously rocking out on some air guitar and air drums. Why and 8-year old knows every word to every Journey song, I have no idea. On a couple of occasions, the lead singer ran down into the audience. There were at least two large groups of the aforementioned middle-aged women who practically
threw themselves at him-- arms waving, hair swinging, drinks spilling. These ladies really wanted something from this guy, although I'm not quite sure what exactly that could have been. A couple of them seemed pretty thrilled when he let them sing into the microphone. I wonder if they realized that they were squealing for a guy who was wearing a bad wig and pretending to be a guy who was popular thirty years ago.
You know how in big concert arenas, they often will have video screens beside the stage so that people in the back of the audience can still see close-ups of the band? Well, they attempted to do something like that during this show. In reality, it looked more like the kind of video that you see on the local public access TV station that shows the high school drama productions. Strange side-angles of the stage, washed out by spotlights. It really added just one more level to the badness of this whole experience.

In general, the songs were pretty good. The band itself was not bad at all, and they played all of the songs exactly as they were originally written. The lead singer had some difficulty with some of the high notes on a few songs, but I think most people in attendance were probably singing along too loudly to notice. At one point, he yelled for everyone to hold their lighters up and sway from side to side, and the ushers and security guards immediately began to run all over the auditorium asking people to put out their flames. Then the same thing happened twice more.
For the $10 price tag, I think I definitely got my money's worth out of this concert. It wasn't very good, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The band played all of the classic Journey hits, and whether the songs are played perfectly or not, that is always enough to put me in a good mood. The bad wigs, the awkward staging, the hilarious crowd... all of these things just added to my amusement. I'll keep my eyes open from now on for more 80's cover bands-- given that such bands are probably pretty exclusive to casinos and state fairs, I predict that they might all be just as wonderfully bad as this one was.