*insert happy dance here*
I've been on a 'Leave of Absence' from the university this year, which basically means that I'm still in the university system until August, at which point I either re-enroll in classes or I don't. If I do, it's like I never left. If I don't, well, I'm out. Although I was fairly certain a year ago that I didn't really want to continue my graduate career, I decided that taking a year off would allow me the opportunity to really think about things and perhaps get a better perspective on my situation and my feelings about everything. I've taken the time, I've thought about it all, I've talked it out... and I'm not going back.
I've got a master's, and I'm happy with that. I don't need a Ph.D. I don't want to work in academia. I don't want to spend 3-5 more years feeling stressed out and being broke. I want free time, a reliable income, and a regular schedule. Being a student until you're 30 or 35 years old is great for people who are happy with that sort of lifestyle... but I'm tired of it. I'm ready to live my life as a normal adult.
(Click to enlarge. Seriously, it's perfect.)
I finally pulled the plug and went to talk to my advisor today. I was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, and the conversation was shockingly easy and non-stressful. Considering that I hadn't made much of an effort to keep in touch or keep updated with her over the past nine months, I honestly don't think she was surprised by my news. We spent most of the conversation catching up about the past year, talking about work and the department and summer plans. I was telling her about my current work situation, what I've been up to, and she said, "So, you're planning to keep doing what you're doing, right? I mean, you're not going to come back to the program." It was hardly even a question at all. And I said, "Yeah. I'm going to keep doing this for now." And that was it! No drawn-out, uncomfortable silences, no awkward explanations, nothing. I was kind of shocked, to tell you the truth. Oh, and then she saw the Diet Coke in my hand and told me that I should really quit drinking that stuff, because, you know, it's bad for me.
For the time being, I'm going to continue with the jobs I have already. I'm going away to New Mexico for 6 weeks starting May 29th, and then I'll come back and pick up where I left off. I enjoy the flexibility I have right now, and will probably ride out this wave until it starts to wash away. I foresee myself beginning a serious job search (for a real, permanent, full-time job) sometime in the late fall or winter of this year. So for now, nothing changes. That is, nothing except my state of mind, which is now slightly more at ease.
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