Meg's Super-Secret Guide to Lightening the Mood

I'm going to share with you a big secret.  Over the years, I have developed a sure-fire method of banishing crankiness and bad moods.  I know a way to raise your spirits when they are low, and to ensure that those around you are also made to smile.  I have tested my methods many times, and tests have been effective 100% of the time.  You can't get better results than that.  Are you ready?  Do you want to know the secret weapon?

All you need is enough hair to create a rockin' side-ponytail.

That's it!  That's the secret.

Think I'm crazy?  Let me explain.

I used to wait tables in college, and I was often in a cranky mood at work.  I worked with other cranky people, and I served food to lots of cranky people.  One day, I got sick of it and decided to do something.  I went to the restroom and put my hair up in the highest, tightest, most obnoxious side-ponytail I could muster, and came back out on the restaurant floor.  I never broke a smile, I never said anything, I just went back to work.  Within seconds, I heard laughter.  The kitchen staff looked slightly confused, but they were smiling nonetheless.  The other servers were shaking their heads and giggling.  I looked ridiculous.  You see, I'm typically a pretty low-key kind of person.  I don't like to make a big show of myself or draw lots of attention, and (at least, in my opinion) my appearance and dress is usually reflective of that.  This fact definitely contributed to my coworkers' amusement.  Nobody could look me in the eye.  They simply could not speak to me without laughing.  It was working!  People were being cheered up!

The second part of this little test was even more fun for me.  Like I said, I proceeded to go about my job as per usual, which meant talking to and serving my tables in the restaurant.  For the rest of the evening, not one single customer could look at me without staring towards the side of my head.  Some would smile right away, and some would wait until I walked away and they thought I couldn't see or hear them to laugh or comment to their friends.  But everybody was amused by it.   And, in turn, my mood went through the roof.  I was loving it.  My side-ponytail brought cheer to the entire restaurant that night.  It was out of character for me, it was super obvious, and it looked absolutely absurd.  My only regret is that I never got a picture of myself in my former employer's signature starched white shirt and black vest (with red bowtie!) and a side-ponytail.

I have since used this method of smile-inducing many times over the last decade-- most recently, last week during excavation in the field.  Even my heavily-hungover crew members couldn't resist the charm of my side-pony!  Somebody walks up to ask you a question in all seriousness, and before they've even opened their mouth they find themselves distracted and laughing at you.  No doubt that a great many of my past and present coworkers can vouch for it and its effectiveness.  Often times, others will join me once they realize how much fun it is to walk around and see every person you interact with break out into a big goofy grin.  There are, no doubt, a number of photographs of myself with this particular hairdo from many different years and different places.  For the record, through my experiences, I can tell you that it is also a particularly amusing thing to do at bars and parties.  The result is always the same.  People smile.  You get cheered up.  You feel a little ridiculous, and you love it.

Trust me on this one.  Give it a shot sometime.  I'm offering a money-back guarantee.  Hike that scrunchie up high on the side of your head, bounce your step just enough so that your hair swishes from front-to-back as you walk, and just try to hold eye contact with some unsuspecting person.  You'll thank me.