Dear Freddie Mac,
You own a lot of houses. I would really like to buy a house, and I would very particularly like to buy a specific one of your houses. This house has been empty for three years, and nobody else seems to be interested in it. I want it. I am willing to pay you for it, and I am even willing to jump through a few hoops to get it. This house needs work, and I am willing to take on the cost and effort required. With as many uninhabited houses as you own, wouldn't selling one of them off be a good thing? Wouldn't you want to get rid of an empty house that needs repairs?
You're making this way more difficult than necessary, Freddie. We've been patient. We've been waiting on you for months, but you are dragging your ass for no apparent reason. You accepted our offer, and then you didn't answer calls for a few weeks. You put up a sign in front of the house to indicate that our sale was pending, and then you did nothing for a solid month. What am I supposed to do? I have no choice but to sit around and wait for you to allow me to sign away my financial future. I'm ready to sign it away, if only you'd pick up the damn pace.
I'm sorry if you were hoping for a cash-buyer to swoop in and take this property of your hands in a matter of days. I'm sorry if you have to fill out some extra paperwork on my account. But you know what? I'm patient, and I'm determined, and I want this damn house. I want this neighborhood and I want this lot and I want the dysfunctional pool and the walls with holes in them and even the horrible, painted wood paneling in the office. I realize that five months isn't really that long of a time when you think about how long we're likely to live in the house; but really, Freddie! Five months from offer to closing? That's a long time. I just don't see how it could possibly not be in all parties' best interest to get this thing over and done with already. This whole deal could have already closed by now if you'd just have hurried the hell up.
Sorry, Freddie, you're stuck with me until I get this house. I'm not backing down.
Sincerely,
Meg
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